"I couldn't even dress myself or pick out my own shoes because I've always had those decisions made for me from childhood. I didn't know how to be an adult"
We're creatures of habit and it sometimes become inevitable that we even become slaves to our habits. Now, there's nothing wrong with it if they're good, productive or progressive habits such as:
- Reading a book a week
- Starting every morning with some positive affirmations
- Going to the gym
- Keeping a diary
However, some habits do play a bad role into our progression in life. Such as:
- Looking for someone to take care of us
- Not making our own decisions
- Falling back into the same rut we've been trying to dig ourselves out of
Annalisa McCormack Carrillo spent the majority of her life looking for her prince charming and, until she realized what her real issue was, she always ended up with the Dark Prince. Now, she's married to a wonderful man who loves her dearly, she's the mother of a few strong women and a son and she's alive, well and strong to give us a few tips she learned on her journey to happiness.
Don't join the pity party
After her last abusive relationship, she sought to get help to get past it. She soon discovered her means of help always turned into a pity part. She decided the best way to get help was to not become another victim in a pity party. She looked back to her faith in God and the Virgin Mary and she never turned back.
Learn how to set boundaries
Jumping from bad relationship to bad relationship in search of something that wasn't there is an eye opening experience and, for Annalisa, it took the police being called to her home 12 times before she decided enough was enough. Don't let this happen to you and the way you avoid it is learning your worth and knowing you're worth it.
Discovering yourself is the only way you establish your worth and develop self respect. Annalisa spent years alone after her last marriage to discover the woman she believed she was. After enough time of reflecting, growing and learning she is now the woman she was meant to be. I know it's hard, but you must be alone and without distraction to discover yourself and who you really are.
Don't make excuses for yourself or others
Whether we're talking about your relationships, friendships or otherwise; never make excuses for where you are. Life isn't always going to go how you want it and you're not always going to get your way. However, this is your life, it's what you make of it and if you choose to only complain and cry about what have, you'll only get what you got. You're in control and you can turn your life into what you want. You just have to have faith in yourself and perform the necessary actions to get it done.
Put on your big girl panties
Between the two failed marriages, the abuse, raising children on a single parent income, her autistic son's needs, body image issues and health concerns there have been plenty of times she wanted to quit and give up. Spending lengthy showers crying it all out, Annalisa got out, sucked it up, put on her big girl panties and kept going. Not for any other reason but love for her family and faith in herself and God.
Take care of yourself
All her life, Annalisa put others first before her. She didn't realize how important she was until she weighed 324lbs and developed a plethora of health issues that soon became life threatening. It wasn't until then, she realized how important she was. Don't wait to take care of yourself, do it now. You may not be able to later in life.
If you don't believe that something is worth fighting for or worth struggling for, you'll never have anything of value. Faith, whether it's in yourself, God or both, is what bridges gapes between Dreams and Reality. Have faith and the rest will follow suit.
In closing, I'd love to leave you with this last bit of advice from Annalisa's own words,
"Whatever you do, don't miss the moment. I spent far too much time worrying, stressing and thinking of everything my mind could muster and I missed all those precious moments until recently. Put the phone down. Take away the distractions. Enjoy the moment because this is all we have right now". - Annalisa McCormack Carrillo